Break Me Down
by WolfKomoki
Summary: It was his fault. He got her killed. If he hadn't lived a dangerous lifestyle then she'd still be alive. Why should he be alive? Trigger Warning: Suicide Attempt
Watch dogs is owned by Ubisoft.

He regretted it every second since her death. He was still haunted by the sight of her body covered in blood. Tonight was no exception.

 _"Aiden!" Her voice screamed in his dream. Dream Aiden grabbed her as hard as he could in an attempt to protect her, but she was already gone._

Aiden woke up gasping for air as a result of the nightmare. When he managed to gather his bearings he put on his orange coat. He didn't bother with appearance anymore. What was the point when she was dead?

Sighing he left his motel and started driving towards the cemetery. What did he want? Did he hate himself as much as he wants to? He couldn't even save Clara, how was he expected to keep his family alive, if he couldn't even keep _her_ alive?

 _It's your fault and you know it Pierce._ He told himself.

If he hadn't gotten her involved, then she'd still be alive. If only he didn't need her, if only, if only, if only he kept telling himself. It was his reckless behavior that got her killed. What's to stop him from getting Nicky killed?

Aiden placed his hand on his pistol, the cold metal of the gun touching his hand. When he arrived at the location Nicky wasn't there.

Aiden felt the pain in his chest again when he didn't see Nicky. _She's not dead. It's Clara that's dead. Yeah but you and I both know that you'll get her killed as well._ He told himself as he slowly pulled out the gun.

He thought of Nicole and how she'd react upon his death. He thought of three scenarios.

One, she would be devastated.

Two, she would be angry.

Three, she wouldn't care.

He thought of Jacks and how he would be too young to understand where his uncle had gone. Still, his heart hurts.

He thought of Clara. He couldn't even protect her, and now she's dead because of him. Aiden raised the gun under his chin.

Just one shot and it would all be over with.

He could be with Clara, and Nicky would be safe.

He thought of Clara. She'd probably slap the gun out of his hand, but Nicky? That was unclear. He owed her a goodbye, at least. It was all he was good for, anyway. He couldn't protect Clara, and he sure as hell can't protect Nicky. Aiden puts the gun down as he begins to dial the number.

"Aiden? It's 2:00 in the morning. Are you drunk?" Nicole asked.

"Please, just listen." Aiden demanded.

"Aiden? What's wrong?" Nicole was fully awake now.

"I never got to say goodbye to Lena, but I don't want the same thing to happen to you." He started.

"Aiden, what are you saying?" Nicole was scared.

"I regret that every day, I don't want the same to happen to you." Aiden sighed.

"Wait are you—Aiden no!" Nicole screamed. Aiden heard her grab her car keys and drive off. He had taught her well. Sure gps tracking was child's play compared to what he does, but he made himself easy to find on purpose. He wanted someone to hold him in his arms and say "it's okay, I'll be here for you".

Clara wasn't here for him anymore, and who's fault is that? Oh yeah, _his._ The phone went dead on the other end, and he found himself gripping the gun again. He thought of Lena. The little girl he'd failed to protect. It was a constant thing in his life he'd noticed.

Or maybe he was just a failure. Either situations were obvious to him. And Clara? She was another person dead, because of _him_. And worst of all? He hates himself.

Hell maybe he'd let Jordi kill him after all, if he didn't take himself out. It's what he wanted…wasn't it? He thought of his reasons to die.

One, he'd be with Lena. Two, he'd be with Clara again. Three, the pain would stop.

So, why hadn't he done it yet? A simple pull of the trigger, and that's it. He put the gun under his chin again as he stared at Clara's grave.

 _I'm so sorry Clara. I wish I were stronger you know? It's funny you know, you'd probably swear at me and ask me what the fuck I was doing. You know what's even funnier? I can't answer that._

Nicky's car pulled up in the parking lot, snapping him from his thoughts. Aiden jumped when Nicky grabbed his arms and took the gun out of his hand.

"Hey, hey, look at me. Look at me." Nicky gasped, trying to comfort him. Aiden looked into her eyes and Nicky's heart broke when she saw the broken look in his eyes. His eyes were lifeless with age, and the tears that would not fall. He just stared at her in silence, not saying a word as she held onto him as tight as she could.

Aiden knew there was nothing he could say to her. He was useless, and asking her "why did you save me" would only upset her more, so he remained silent. He needed her to know that he's not okay.

"Come on Aiden, let's get out of here, okay?" Nicole begged. Aiden simply grabbed her arm, allowing her to pull him away from here without a word. Nicole dragged him to her home, refusing to allow him to leave unsupervised. They went to sleep after that, but Aiden wasn't dreaming peacefully.

Clara was at her own grave in the dream this time. She looked angry with Aiden.

 _"I'm dead because of you._ " Dream Clara growled.

" _So kill me._ " Dream Aiden taunted. Aiden woke up gasping and thrashing at the air when he was shot in the dream.

"Uncle Aiden? You're okay." Jacks called from the edge of the bed as he grabbed his hand in an attempt to calm him. Aiden pressed his head against Jacks's chest as he slowly breathed in, trying to calm himself down.

A/N: Okay so I'm not that far into watch dogs but I've watched a Let's Play. I tried to keep Aiden's personality as close to the game as I could, but writing a character that hides his emotions is hard for me. Also I apologize for my lack of gun knowledge.


End file.
